As some of you know, I work as a gasoline tanker truck driver. One requirement of the job is securing the unloading site with bright orange, highly visible, safety cones. They aren't intended as targets by people in cars too distracted, uncaring, self absorbed to avoid them.
Their intent is to protect a work area where I have multiple hoses leading from the truck and trailer into large underground fuel tanks. These hoses and the fittings where they connect, unload gasoline at the rate of nearly 500 gallons per minute.
I wonder if these same, distracted, uncaring, self absorbed 'bozos' might grasp the image of what would happen should they drive their cars, with hot engines over one of those fittings.
So, just the other night, right on cue, there goes "Mr Bozo in Acura" right over a cone and halfway into my "secured" work area in an impatient attempt to gain that extra inch in line. I walk up to the window, as politely as my irritation allows and inform him that they have one of my cones jammed under their car simply because they weren't paying attention. The standard response so far, and almost verbatim is, " It wont cause any damage will it!?" To which I politely as my irritation allows, inform them of the spectacular consequences to ensue should they drive over one of my fittings with gasoline pouring through at 500 gallons a minute under a hot engine, and THEN I offer the suggestion regarding the cone of, "Aren't you glad it wasn't a small child?"
"It won't cause any damage will it?" Good Grief!! The greatest concern is that a piece of semi- soft rubber cone will scratch the undersides of their precious Oldsmobeemer! No clues at all!!
Along these same lines, I was chatting with a station attendant one evening while unloading. Often the topics of conversation are about these very same 'bozos'.
He related the story of how a few months back, Madam Bozo in SUV pulls up to his pump, ciggie in full burn hanging from her nicotine stained lips. He informs her of the NO SMOKING laws in gasoline stations and in turn is curtly advised to "F-Off"!! So, he advises her that he will simply flip the switch and shut down the pumps. Her excuse then becomes "I haven't got an ashtray!" To which her daughter ( great parental examples huh!!?) offers, "Mom you can use my soda can". Ahhhh the wisdom of a child!
Another amazing observation I have is how gasoline tanker trucks seem to act as a magnet to bozos. After midnight, not much traffic, eight pumps in a station, place is empty and here comes Mr or Ms Gasoline Purchasing Q. Public. EIGHT pumps on four islands to choose from. Where do they go? Right next to Gasoline Tanker Truck dumping 11,000+ gallons of highly flammable liquid! Just last week I see such odd behavior and as the "driver" gets out to pump gas, Nicotine Addict Passenger With Window Down is puffing away less than ten feet from 11,000 gallons of gas!! At least THIS one when I informed them, managed an authentic "Oh S**t, I'm sorry!!
If these stories aren't scary enough, keep in mind these people BREED!!!!!
Before I had this job, I always wondered about the seemingly bizarre laws in the State of Oregon where it is illegal for people to pump their own gas. Now I think I have a clue!!
Sometimes I think, there ARE truck driving jobs where its just toilet paper back there!!
